Bill Burr Is Glad Stephen Hawking Is Dead | Netflix Is A Joke

, , 100 Comments


– You know, I’m afraid of robots. (audience laughing) Yeah, I saw one get
interviewed on “60 Minutes”, the top journalistic program
in the United States. And he’s just sitting
there, getting interviewed, not nervous at all, just rattling off all the fucking answers.
(audience laughs) You know, not smoking,
not fucking, you know, leaking oil, whatever you would do as a nervous robot, right?
(audience laughing) And the reporter’s asking him questions, in the end he goes, “So tell us, he’s like,
what are your goals?”. And I am alone in a hotel room, and I literally lean
towards the TV, I’m like, did these fucking things have goals? (audience laughing) And the fucking robot just
answers, he just goes, “Well, what are your
goals?”, and the robot goes, “To become smarter than human beings”. Yeah, and the reporter just blows by it, he’s like, “Okay, and, “what’s your favorite color?”.
(audience laughing) Meanwhile, I’m standing on
my bed yelling at the TV, like, “Dude, unplug that fucking thing! (audience laughing)
“Take the batteries out! “Pull the wires out, do something!” How many sci-fi movies do you have to see before you realize where this is going? (audience laughing) So anyways, every smart person, every super smart person in the world, is saying these fucking
things are gonna kill us. Even your boy here, the
guy who, he recently died. What was his name? He was always sitting down. (audience laughing) Hawkins, Stephen Hawkins, yeah! Too good to fucking stand
up and make his point, just sitting down all fucking sparmy. (audience laughing)
(comedian laughing) Oh, I care so much, I
poured ice on myself! Ah.
(audience laughing) And I showed off my abs at
the same time, for the ‘gram! Nah, I’m just fucking with you. I am so glad that guy’s
fucking dead, though. You know?
(audience laughing) Look at you guys, your heart, how much longer do you want him to suffer? You don’t believe in an afterlife? Maybe he’s up there now,
his fucking legs work, he’s getting an angelic blowjob, how much longer do you want
him to fucking sit there so you can feel better about yourself? Well, at least I’m not
all fucking twisted up, saying smart shit, right?
(audience laughing) I couldn’t fucking stand that guy. (audience laughing)
(comedian laughs) He was so fucking negative, he never had anything positive to say! Hey Steve, what have you got for us today? “In 2035 there’ll be no more apples.” Thank you, Steve, thanks a lot!
(audience laughing) Wasn’t thinking about that, now I am. Hey, so what’s the solution? “It’s too late, we needed
to try 40 years ago.” Thanks a lot buddy, I’m gonna
go cry with my child now! Dude I could hang out with that
guy for about three minutes before I took the brake
off his chair and just zoomed him into the other world. Hey Steve, come back here
when you got something dumb and positive to say!
(audience laughing)

 

100 Responses

  1. PONYBOYonline

    September 25, 2019 5:41 pm

    If this was an old clip from 10 years ago people would be commenting, “CoMeDiAnS cOuLd NeVeR sAy ThIs StUfF tOdAy”

    Reply
  2. Genadijus Puskinas

    September 27, 2019 3:56 pm

    Do you all actually believe that Stephen Hawking was talking? I mean somebody else used to talk instead of him and he was just complete vegetable. He was made up celebrity for stupid people …

    Reply
  3. ROY GRIMES

    September 28, 2019 1:04 am

    This is the first time I ever saw this guy. I was rolling laughing and now I bout to do a good ole binge on whatever I can find on this guy!

    Reply
  4. darth sidious

    September 28, 2019 3:58 pm

    America is fucked up country where comedians are held up in a higher esteem than scientists or political leaders.

    Then they wonder why rest of the world thinks of them to be dumbfucks.

    Keep it up Americans.
    Lol

    Reply
  5. Vamshi Ohgs

    September 30, 2019 4:22 am

    Notice how he said smart and negative stuff and in the end says why don't you say something and dumb and positive
    Coz negative people are always more realistic and smarter.

    Reply
  6. wenjingsaf

    October 2, 2019 7:46 am

    he speaks some truth but he still a hollywood sellout st the end of the day with his dragman black wife

    Reply
  7. wenjingsaf

    October 2, 2019 7:47 am

    hollywood would never let real truth speakers get so big and rich why u thibk this one is different

    Reply
  8. Musimike Battle

    October 2, 2019 12:53 pm

    And that's the softest part of this show. You should all watch to whole thing. Humanity needed Bill Burr now that Louis CK is a metoo victim.

    Reply
  9. Jerome Ierome

    October 3, 2019 5:45 am

    This is the fcuking best ever. I listened to his whole gig while out for my morning walk and just laughed my ass for more than hour

    Reply
  10. Hole in Dans Sock

    October 6, 2019 11:53 pm

    I don't like his recent white privilege jokes but I'll always like Bill. I think his black wife is a lefty and is bad for Bill. Can't wait for divorced loose Bill. As long as they're all happy.

    Reply
  11. big Cahuna

    October 7, 2019 5:02 pm

    If Stephen Hawkings wasn't handicapped, nobody would pay any attention to him and his assumptions, predictions, and guesses. He made a living guessing about black holes and the universe. All his bullshit will be disproven in 50 years, like much of todays' "science".

    Reply
  12. Ben Dover

    October 9, 2019 12:01 pm

    HAHAHA COME ON NOW EVERYONE IS COPYING DAVE CHAPPELLES CLOUT OF HIM BEING DISRESPECTFUL AS FUCK. HAH WE SEE WHAT YOU ARE DOING HERE.

    Reply
  13. vacantplanets

    October 13, 2019 4:20 am

    Bill "cultural appropriation" Burr. Fuck him.

    Tries to be edgy by trying to attack feminism again in his newest special, instead attacks white women. Fucking moron. The same guy who tries to attack feminism goes on Joe Rogan and says shit like "my wife is so much smarter than me" "I'm a white male, what do I know about anything?"

    Reply
  14. T Chambers

    October 17, 2019 4:15 pm

    Love bill, but it bothers me so much when people say “ hawkins “ the guys name was steven HAWKING. 🤷🏻‍♂️

    Reply
  15. August Wind

    October 23, 2019 3:55 am

    "Hey Steve what do got for us today?"
    "In 2035 there'll be no more apples."
    🎯🤣🤣🤣🤣
    😂😂😂😂

    Reply
  16. medexamtoolsdotcom

    October 23, 2019 1:10 pm

    I don't know why so many of you are comparing him to Dave Chappelle. Bill Burr is way funnier than Dave Chappelle. Rotten tomatoes and the young turks and the other SJWs may have hated Chappelle for all the wrong reasons but Chappelle still isn't really very funny to me, it's bizarre watching these things where the audience is laughing at everything they say and they say maybe one funny thing every 3 minutes. But Bill Burr meanwhile everything he said really WAS funny.

    Reply
  17. StarWarFan

    October 26, 2019 4:40 pm

    You ever see the top comments for this video's comment section and think

    "Damn, why didn't I think of something that cool to say?"

    Reply
  18. redwood1133

    October 27, 2019 2:01 am

    What do you think about George Carlin? Seems like he bitches about everything but never had solutions

    Reply
  19. redwood1133

    October 27, 2019 2:02 am

    Ya whats the solution??? Keep complaining… where is the intelligence…? Everyone can tell you what the problem is but noone has any idea about the solutions.. im tired of laughing at all you assholes that can point out everything wrong with everything… you got the stage, you have millions of viewers… change something… i know about 20ppl and talk about you assholes that are funny but you have 0 answers to what your bitching about… let me lead you all to a dry well… thanks

    Reply
  20. Mark

    October 27, 2019 6:11 am

    01101001 01101110 00100000 00110010 00110000 00110011 00110101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 01110010 01100101 00100000 01110111 01101001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01100010 01100101 00100000 01101110 01101111 00100000 01101101 01101111 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100001 01110000 01110000 01101100 01100101 01110011

    Reply
  21. The Stuport

    October 28, 2019 2:52 pm

    Bill Burr continues to Deliver The Goods…..Special after Special after Special….doesn't matter what Continent it is filmed from.

    Reply
  22. Cheryl Adamson

    November 13, 2019 2:18 pm

    I love Bill hes big on conspiracies like me I'm afraid of robots too but we should really be afraid of superintelligence and human ethics

    Reply
  23. Edith Dlp

    November 21, 2019 10:45 pm

    Steven Hawking knew that everything was going to hell that is why he always had such bad news. Did you not see the terminator SAGA? Robots take over the world. Skynet is now the internet. It is taking over. I hope I am wrong.

    Reply
  24. Myrddin Gwynedd

    November 26, 2019 6:15 am

    The British crowd suck balls. They just aren`t used to honest comedy. Instead they`re used to politically correct garbage where they`re (men in general) forced to laugh uncomfortably at unfunny women for the best part asking "This is funny?" only to hear a rabid feminist like Kate Smurthwaite screaming in their ears "Yes, you white racist cisgendered homophobic patriarchal oppressive piece of shit" Now laugh or be socially ostracised and demonized. I fucking hate the UK, and I`m British.

    Reply
  25. Layth Adrian

    January 1, 2020 4:58 am

    I'm proud to say that I was invited to do that ice bucket challenge but didn't participate. And I no longer speak with the guy who invited me.

    Reply
  26. Starlord

    January 4, 2020 1:33 am

    Silicon Valley should be carpet-bombed starting with google and facebook.
    It will save us from future robot takeover and only several thousand nerds die. win-win

    Reply
  27. JeremyCuddles

    January 13, 2020 6:16 am

    I love how he roasts the public, but he slides it in after roasting some famous person. Lol. Burr is the GOAT. I know people say it's Chappelle but I gotta go with Burr.

    Reply
  28. Jacob Tiscareno

    January 14, 2020 3:32 pm

    To be just as fair what could you possibly say that would interest a guy as smart as him though not an apple joke thats for sure😂

    Reply
  29. Orb Weaver

    January 26, 2020 4:19 pm

    The robots masses were just as scared when robots first started designing initial human prototypes and interviewing them and asking them their goals.

    Reply
  30. Elvis Sorna

    February 1, 2020 9:38 am

    I swear this guy is like the Isaac Newton of satire. Fucking brilliant. Right up there with Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

    Reply
  31. Carl Stockman

    February 6, 2020 4:00 am

    Stephen Hawking was supposed to die before his 30th birthday… it was kind of a miracle he lived as long as he did. And yeah it was a life of constant pain and discomfort. He lived like Darth Vader only with shittier cybernetics and no superpowers.

    Reply
  32. Admiral Crunch

    February 14, 2020 1:59 am

    Why didn't he devote his life to curing whatever he had? Seriously, if I was as smart as him I would have at least tried.

    Reply
  33. Ronnie Saso

    February 26, 2020 3:14 am

    Kevin Hart and all these others don't stand a chance next to this monstrosity of a comedian!!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

    Reply
  34. ProjectMoriarty

    March 4, 2020 3:42 pm

    This guy is so fucking disrespectful! Even though Stephen Hawking was a severely disabled man he managed to bring so much knowledge to the world and is one of the greatest minds in human history is disrespected and mocked by some bald guy that I’ve never even heard of!

    Reply
  35. Will Kretz

    March 7, 2020 2:09 am

    I would have been offended if this wasn't a white man making fun of a crippled white man. Snip and snap any other race or gender in there and it just doesn't work because of my fellow "millenial" hardcore left and righties are children disguising themselves as adults.

    Reply

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