Game of Zones – S5:E5: The Isle of Van Gundy

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My home island grows near When we get there my brothers will bestow on each of you great knowledge And hopefully turn this season around I don’t see anything Before you see them…you’ll hear them. Sh, listen [singing]
Replay is a joke. It’s good for the officials but bad for the game What is that? Some sort of…chant? It’s a rant. A Van Gundian rant, Tobias. These monks have taken a vow of no silence [singing]
Dwight Howard is always waffling and complaining. He is a coach killer Ah, yeah, that’s lovely. I could listen to that for minutes before getting annoyed Oh, there she is! The Isle of Van Gundy [laughs] Home sweet home [singing]
And if you flop… [singing]
You should get a technical… [singing]
foul [singing]
And if you flop… [singing]
You should be fined millions of… [singing]
gold! [singing]
And if you flop… [singing]
You should be suspended from the… [singing]
game! [singing]
Because flopping ruins the game! [singing]
But they don’t listen to us [laughs] Brother Stan! Brother Jeff! Is that really you? How the hell are ya? Ugh, terrible! The whole foul review system’s a mess Nobody listens to me. How are you? I’m miserable. We’re stuck in the damn ninth seed and I’ve tried everything Could use a bit of your help, Brother Jeff Ah, the Van Gundian Monks will always help a coach in need Knights of Detroit, C’mere and form a f–king wall I want you to meet my brothers. This here, this is Jeff Van Gundy Hello there! That’s Ethan Van Gundy Pleasure to meet you Reff Van Gundy That there is Jan Van Gundy Greetings I’m their second cousin This little guy is Gundy Van Gundy He’s severely gundied, so don’t say nothing about
“load management” in front of that one Ah! That’ll ruin the game and you know it! All right. Ethan, can you show the knights to their chambers? Our training begins bright and early tomorrow If you can’t make your free throws, they’re gonna hack you all day I don’t know, I just sorta feel like…I don’t need analytics to tell me LeBron is good You know? I know that. I can see that Ugh, I’m just not sure this will be enough, Brother Jeff The Lords of Detroit will have me head if we don’t make a run in the playoffs this year You know, there is another option. I mean, you are the Master of Trades, right? Aye Well, I hear whispers of a wealthy lord who’s looking to part ways with his most decorated knight If I send a raven now, they can be here on the morrow Ugh…I just… Ah, screw it. Send the raven I think you’re gonna like him, Brother Stan. He’s even balder and louder than I Developing! Developing! Developing players! Let’s make a trade, baby! Woooo! Ser Blake Griffin But he’s the face of your franchise And soon he can be the face of yours All right, but…who would you want for him? Tobias is a good developing player Yes, him All right! You’ve got yourself a dea– Also Avery Bradley, Boban the Giant and a first-round pick I mean…that’s quite a lot. What kind of contract do you got him under? Five years. 171 Million Seven hells, that’s a lot of gold I mean, Ser Griffin’s a marvelous talent and all Do you know he once dunked over a horse? Clydesdale Ah, wow, that’s…that’s really athletic. I just…171 million gold…it’s a lot… Oh, and did you know, he’s…funny? Oh? Is…is he now… Blake, tell us one of your jokes Um…sure…yeah Uh, so…cheers. Thanks for coming out everyone…um… So my squire year, some of the older blokes take me to a whorehouse— Not that one. Not that one Right…um…so a ref walks into a bar…and then a table…and then some chairs… [laughs] Because he’s…because the ref is blind! [laughs] That’s great, laddie It’s a deal! Fare thee well, House Pistons! And remember, stay away from those analytics folks! [chanting]
Alonzo [chanting]
Mourning What they doing? That there is the ceremonial exodus of the Van Gundys. Watch [chanting]
Back cut, down screen, ice, ice Go forth to victory! And please give our tidings to the maiden Rihanna! Bey! Ah, Bey I…don’t think she’s a maiden [laughs] This lad! I’ve got a feeling we’re going to have a long, bright future together, Blake

 

100 Responses

  1. Myron Gaines

    May 10, 2018 9:16 pm

    The lyrics in the rant though, lmao!

    Lyrics
    "Replay's a joke. Its good for the officials but bad for the game"

    "Dwight howard is always waffling and complaining. He is a coach killer"

    "And if you flop, you get technical foul
    And if you flop, you should be fined millions of gold.
     and if you flop, you should get suspended from the game.
    Because flopping ruins the game
     but they dont listen to us.."

    Reply
  2. TJM Matthews29

    June 10, 2018 10:43 am

    lol , this is hilarious , love watching these episodes , will they make any future type for the season, playoffs edition ?

    Reply
  3. D Wr

    June 10, 2018 2:08 pm

    I feel for Stan Van gundy I am a pistons fan and it was clear he tried everything to give this injury plagued team some consistency. Blake Griffin was brought in to sell tickets I doubt that was only his decision.

    Reply
  4. brion burkett

    June 29, 2018 3:32 am

    Van Gundy is my least favorite part of watching basketball. I can miss a game if I cant find a broadcast without his rambling and rabbit trailing through actual game play and not be too upset. I once watched a cavs vs warriors game he was announcing and he literally talked about the lunch he had the day before as a ball was stolen for a dunk that turned the game around and he didn't even bat an eye. Or acknowledge the play. The stadium is going bananas and all he can talk about is how he ate one. His disinterest in the game obviously fueled by his supreme interest in his own voice? But still getting paid top dollar to announce high profile games? Incredible. Bordering on miraculous.

    Reply
  5. brion burkett

    June 29, 2018 3:35 am

    And Game of Zones is seriously a phenomenon. So good! Like people will be talking about them in 40 years good!

    Reply
  6. The Lurchness Monster !!

    July 2, 2018 3:47 pm

    Watch with subtitles when they sing the Van-gundy rant 😂😂

    Also, to answer your question of More Episodes or Longer Episodes…. YES!!

    Reply
  7. Dave Trachtenberg

    November 13, 2018 6:15 am

    I hadn't seen the "Developers" from Ballmer until this clip – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vhh_GeBPOhs

    Reply
  8. Dave Trachtenberg

    November 13, 2018 6:19 am

    I love that the entire reason they made this video was just to get in the Jeff Van Gundy / Alonzo Mourning leg grab moment for a totally random late 90's shout out haha.

    Reply
  9. Rick Ross

    February 4, 2019 10:49 am

    Doc) "Blake, tell us one of your jokes". Blake) "So my squire year some of the older blokes take me to a whore house and…. Doc) "NOT THAT ONE. NOT THAT ONE" !!!!! lol

    Reply
  10. Teran Icer

    May 2, 2019 4:26 pm

    Bay of Once, pure gold. The Mourning/VanGundy part had me in tears. Game of Zones based on 90s teams could definitely work 👍

    Reply
  11. Jovan P

    May 13, 2019 9:16 am

    1:01 – Ah, yeah, that's lovely. I could listen to that for minutes before getting annoyed! 😆 LMAOOO!!!

    Reply
  12. TOM WEED

    May 22, 2019 3:51 pm

    those who write the songs for GOZ must be genius… these songs are soooooooo great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  13. bradleybacon

    June 17, 2019 6:54 pm

    Best JVG quote ever after being shown a list of stats "Those numbers are meaningless—the only number that matter are WINS!"

    Reply
  14. sempe zela

    July 2, 2019 9:40 pm

    That Van Gundian ho gon want Tobias even more now that he signed for 5 years 180 mil…

    Reply
  15. Jerod gregoire

    October 9, 2019 8:44 am

    “He’s a coach killeeer” “I could listen to that for minutes before getting annoyed.” 😂😂😂 facts though.

    Reply
  16. / ЗнүүнэТ11

    October 31, 2019 4:47 pm

    If clippers keep Blake Griffin, DeAndre Jordan and Chris Paul the clippers will unstoppable team of all like:
    Pg: Chris Paul
    Sg: Paul George
    Sf: Kawhi Leonard
    Pf: Blake Griffin
    C:DeAndre Jordan

    Reply

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