What am I doing here with you? Damn hangover… I can’t remember anything… I remember us getting drunk and running from police and… Oh, yeah. I caught you to bring you to my circus. Do you have a circus? Jumpman, dude, you’ve changed… Last night you were cool. Jumpman? No, I just remembered my name is Mario and well, I have a circus. Look, tihs is my whip. Ow, son of a bitch! Daddy. Look, there’s my son. He’s gonna kick you dirty italian ass, you drunk! Fuck that, I’m pulling out these Snapjaws. Come on, boys! Come on, come on, come on! Man, you’re a fucking animal abuser! I’m not an abuser. I fact, the other day I went to catch some tanooki raccons in Japan to get my magical suit done. Okay, you’re a degenerate, which is way worse… I’m here dad, who’s this? Who are you? I’m Jr. Wow, I didn’t know you had a son. And did you know my name is Cranky? You’re Cranky? So, this is the current DK? What? No. Wait… Then the current DK is your son? I guess… No way, that’s impossible… The current DK plays with Jr in MArio Tennis 64. This is illogical. So you’re telling me that I’m facing three different DK generations? They get old and I don’t? Also, I remember reading in Smash Bros. that Diddy wast your nephew. Diddy? Diddy was initially supposed to be DK Jr. Cranky’s one? No, Donkey’s one. Then your grandson is the current Donkey Kong, the tie one. Correct. Impossible. Why? In DK from Game Boy I face a Donkey Kong with a tie aswell. That one must be my grandson. Then why’s he with DK Jr.? Look, fuck this. I’m Donkey Kong, the one and only. No matter if I wear a tie or not. So… I’m your dad? My head’s gonna blow! Let’s forget about this… We are in Donkey Kong Jr. You are Donkey Kong Jr., my son. And I’m Donkey Kong, the only one. I don’t even know who I am anymore… Eh man, you’ve finally awakened! Another Mario? Yep, in the opening cutscene from this game there are two Marios. In 1982 it could be common, but nowadays it’s hard to believe… Well, I’ll probably reappear in a future Nintendo game. Maybe they will make up something about me being Luigi. Being in 1982 it would make no sense the thirtieth Luigi’s anniversary. This way “Mario Bros.” name makes sense! Maybe Luigi was added as a last minute idea and Mario Bros. was was going to be starring two Marios! Who cares! Let’s go to our secret hiding place where we torture our animals with electric shocks. I want to make myself a coat with this gorilla. Damn loser… I assure you nobody will ever forget how evil you are in this game! I think they will! Break his legs, dad! Here, take this! Why did you have to die? I didn’t want to hurt him, he was a cool guy, but I had to… Don’t worry, dad, we’ll steal copper from lamppost and sell it to make money and survive.