*ENGLISH SUBS BY Lacortai* Hey, ¿what’s going on, agent? We are at the begginigs of the 80’s and lately a lot of things have been going on. Giant frogs crossing the road and getting crashed easily, people riding ostriches in order to joust, and plenty of alien invasions, of course. Nothing impresses us anymore in this life. And, of course, the police department goes nuts. Oh, wow. Do you want to know what happened last? It turns out that a gorilla has kidnapped a girl and has climbed that scaffolding. Aren’t you going to do anything about it? Not really, the policemen won’t stand out in this world until 1994 and then we will complain from 1997 on. If that’s the case: I’m coming to the rescue! Is that guy the nerd who is going to save the day? Yes, they get more pathetic every time. I don’t see any future for him. He isn’t even fit to tie the great Pitfall Harry’s shoelaces. Help, help, help! Oh my God! These platforms are so sensitive! I have acrophobia! Let’s make this clear, you are scared of heights and you climb a building under construction. Heh, now it’s a “building under destruction.” Hey. Who are you? It’s-a me: Jumpman! Where did those barrels come from? I don’t know, they were here when I arrived. Liar! They weren’t here when you were jumping! It would be a shame not to enjoy them, don’t you think? To hell with it! Let’s drink a little! And then I told Q*bert: “If you like them so much, go eat a Q*cumber! Q*cumber now?! THAT’S ENOUGH! What’s wrong, Donkey? I’m sad… I’ll never be anything in life… I did this kidnapping because I never get attention… Get a degree… Studying is a great pastime! I don’t know… Come on, it’s incredibly easy to get a degree in this life. I am a plumber for killing a turtle, I earned my driving license by going go-karting, And I even got my doctorate just by throwing vitamins into a pot! Wow, dude! I envy you so much! If only I were clever and such a man like you. Since you are such a fucking awesome guy I’ll tell you a trick for triumphing in life: Get a tie. A tie? Yeah, dude, going around withy a tie, like a real sir. You’ll see how they will even call you Mr. Donkey Kong. Thanks, Jumpman. You are changing my life today. Here’s to you! You piggy! Hey, it wasn’t me! It must have been me then. Oh, shit! Thanks, sir, you have saved… Well, you have *partly* saved this lady. Why are they in such a good state and I am like this? Thank you, thank you! Let’s steal the van and flee! Naaaaaaah… Pusy! Pusy! Pusy! You really are the fucking man! Yeah, and I stealed that lady’s parasol, purse and hat. Go see what’s in the purse! Her ID card… Oh, look, she’s callled Pauline. She has a lipstick, compresses, and… Well, look what we have here! What does she have? Let’s say… “artificial company” What a slut she is!