NAIL: What do you want? FRIEZA: Ah, good sir. I suppose you could say I’m looking for technical support. GURU: NAAAAAAIIIIL! Do we have a visitor? NAIL: Yes, sir. GURU: NAAAAAAIIIIL! Take his coat. FRIEZA: I don’t have a coat. NAIL: He doesn’t have a coat, sir. NAIL: And I believe this is the man who basically killed our entire race! GURU: NAAAAAAIIIIL! Don’t take his coat. FRIEZA: You see, I recently acquired what you people refer to as… …Dragon Balls, But I’m having trouble getting them to do what I want. NAIL: Did you try working the shaft? FRIEZA: Classy. GURU: NAAAAAAIIIIL! What does he want? NAIL: He’s asking how to use the Dragon Balls. GURU: Did you tell him to work the shaft? NAIL: Yes, Lord Guru. GURU: Good work, Nail. FRIEZA: I have the distinct impression you’re going to be difficult. NAIL: Well, sir, if you’re having a problem with our customer support, you can call 1800-EAT-A-DICK. GURU: We don’t even have those! FRIEZA: Okay, this is getting ridiculous. What is that?! GURU: Oh God! Natural light! FRIEZA: Good Lord! I was led to believe your species survived entirely on water! How is he so fat?! GURU: Oh. Hello. I’m Super Kami Guru. And I’m the guy who’s NOT judging you on your appearance. FRIEZA: Well, my name is Frieza, ruler of most of the known galaxy. I’m here to offer you a deal. You give me the information I require, and I’ll let the sporting young man live. GURU: Please. Nail isn’t afraid of you. He is the strongest of our race. FRIEZA: Oh really? NAIL: Uh, sir…? GURU: Yeah. Nail’s gonna DESTROY your sorry ass. They wouldn’t be able to air it on the news because it’ll be SO BRUTAL! NAIL: Sir, seriously! GURU: Hush, Nail! I’m speaking for you. FRIEZA: Well, then, if this is the only course of action available to me, I accept. I’ll dispatch of this worm, and then I’ll be back for you, slug! GURU: Leave my brother out of this! NAIL: Sir, his power is overwhelming! NAIL: I can also sense it’s only a fraction of what he’s capable of! GURU: Nail! Listen to me. You are Namek’s number one son. GURU: A prodigy child. You have been trained in the ancient ways. GURU: I believe in you. NAIL: You– mean that, Lord Guru? GURU: Yes, Nail. Now show him the staggering spirit of Namek And WASTE his smug ass! NAIL: Yes, sir! Follow me! GURU: Fool. If I had trained him in the new way, he might have stood a chance.