The Kapil Sharma Show Season 2 – Ep 96 – Full Episode – 1st December, 2019


Ms. Archana! – Yes?
– You look beautiful! Thank you. I’m sure you know
about this festival. I’m not talking about the one
where you invite relatives and gamble. Just roam around India you’ll know that
there are good festivals. Our India is so beautiful
and so are our Indians. Very much.
It’s very beautiful. I would like to thank
honourable chief minister of Arunachal Pradesh,
Mr. Pema Khandu who gave us this beautiful
opportunity to visit the place. You all should go with your
families. You’ll enjoy. There’s so much beauty hidden
in India. There are a lot of places
we haven’t explored. This was my first visit. I hope all of you will enjoy
when you go there. Come..
– Hey, come, let’s go quickly. Hey, bye, buddy. Bye.
– Bye, Kapu. – Bye.. – Bye. Where are they going?
– Hey.. – At least ask us. Where’s your tail? Hey, I didn’t mean that.
At least, ask us where are we going.
– Oh! Go to heck. I don’t care. Kapu, did we eat the cream
of cream biscuit? Right. – Why are you always
so upset with us? Hey, cute blob, quiet.
– Cute blob. Hey, Kapu. – Yes.
– There’s a good news. Assembled woman, how can you
give any good news? I didn’t mean that good news.
‘ITI Awards’ is happening. We are invited there.
– Right. You both don’t get invited
to the general ward. How did you get invited
to the ITI award? Anyway, will you go
and apply oil to everyone there? I will go there and apply oil by nailing everyone’s colours
to the mast. Right. Because look
where I have reached by applying oil.
– Right. I will apply oil
in such a way there that all the awards will slip
and fall near us. Mark my words. Of course. Isn’t it?
– That’s for sure. – Right. I have been nominated
over there. You must have got
gastric problem. Forget about nomination. Here you go..
– Whether I’ve got nominated or I’ve got a gastric problem,
what’s your problem, buddy? Hey, fart man,
stop your nonsense. Girl, he’s..
– Give it to me.. – Here you go. Place a banana in this.
– No worries. That’s okay.
No problem. You know what?
– What? I’ve got nominated
for the best male actor. Hey, how can you be nominated
for a best male actor? Either you’re not a woman
or you’re not an actor. What’s the logic exactly?
– I’m from Govinda’s family. Do you need any further logic?
He’s so silly. Well, guys, every week, we waste
a lot of Sony channel’s time by discussing these things,
all right? Let’s not do it, today.
Ms. Archana I’m quite excited, today.
Different people from different channels
will be coming there. Okay. – I’m waiting
to see that witch’s face. I can see the witch
very closely. It’s going to be fun. – Witch?
– One is standing right next to you.
You can watch her at leisure. Hey, don’t listen
to his nonsense. Be careful of the witch. – Why?
– You know she eats the children. In your case, you will be
just left with Yadav. I’m telling you. Hey, fools, you’re going
to collect the award. Have you prepared any speech?
– Of course, we did. Once they give me the award I will fake my tears
with my spit. I’ll thank Sony
for giving birth to me. Sony?
– Did Sony gave birth to you? Whoever pays me money
is my mother and father. This is how it is. And what speech
will you give? No..
I won’t give speech and all. If I give a speech, I’ll have
to thank Bhuri, Titli and all. No. Aren’t you taking Bhuri along? No.. I am sending
Bhuri to Amritsar. She’s not from Punjab. But the ones who have come
from Punjab aren’t going back. That’s right, Kapil.
– Someone has to go to Punjab. Punjab is getting empty. Even I am going
with an empty suitcase. I’ll fill it with awards.
– Hey, listen to me. You’re taking this
suitcase along.- Yes. Don’t steal anything
from the hotel. Otherwise, it’ll bring disgrace. That’s fine, but we shouldn’t
fall ill. Right. I heard that it’s very cold
there in Indore. There’s only one problem.
– What? They’ve organised the award show
at the time of dinner. I’ll go and request them
to do it in between breakfast and lunch and not
to disturb me while eating. Bachcha, there’s a market called
Sarafa Bazar in Indore. – Oh. It remains open for whole night.
– Okay. We’ll drop you there,
you keep eating. What do you mean, keep eating?
Am I a buffalo? No.. Why would he call you
a buffalo? – Yes.. Buffalo eats just for an hour,
but you always keep eating. There’s no point
of arguing unnecessarily. We should leave now. We have
a buffalo to catch at 10 p.m. If we miss this one, we’ll have
to go to Indore on foot. Are you guys going
on a buffalo? Only he’s going on a buffalo. I am very clever. I’ll go
to airport in ten minutes and then will go to Indore
on foot within a week. You both go,
I’ll be there on 8th. I’ll come in a plane.
– What! Are you going there
in a plane? Yes. – They told me
that there’s no airport. They even told me
that there’s no bus station. Yes, they said this.
– They fooled us. My buffalo is ready. I have to go. Otherwise, if I
miss this one then I can’t go. Come on..
– Even I’ll come. Come on.. Buffalo is ready.
Okay, thank you.. We’ll meet after a week.
Come on.. Ms. Archana, I am a fan
of our today’s guest for sure. Even you’re a fan and everyone
is a fan. In fact, four generations
are his fans. – Wow! With a huge round of applause,
I would like to call the jumping jack of Bollywood,
the evergreen super star Mr. Jeetendra and his son,
Tushar Kapoor. Mr. Jeetu and Mr. Tushar,
I heartily welcome you. Sir, you always look handsome. And even today, you’re looking
like Tushar’s elder brother. Thank you for pulling my leg.
– No, sir. I am not pulling your leg, sir.
Love you, sir. Please come.
I heartily welcome you. A huge round of applause
for Mr. Jeetu. Sir, we’ll discuss the rest
of the things later but Ms. Archana wants
to ask something. – Oh. She asked me to ask you
the name of your supplement as soon as you arrive. I mean, you always glow.
– Yes. What’s your daily routine?
What time do you wake up at? Are you asking
because of cough? No, sir. I am genuinely asking.
You’re so handsome.. What time do you wake up at?
What do you eat, sir? Even we.. We can benefit.
– Even we can follow a bit. After many years, I woke up
at 9:30 a.m. today. Otherwise, I usually wake up
at 12:00 p.m. Oh!
– Really? Wow! Tushar sent me a message
at night. ’12 o’clock, roll..’
– Okay. ’11 o’clock, you must sleep.’ I couldn’t sleep till late night
out of fear. Mr. Jeetu, we were told
that we’ll roll at 12 o’clock so we thought that you must
be waking up very early.. Akshay Kumar wakes up
at 4 a.m. We thought you.. Akshay Kumar wakes up at 4 a.m.
because he has work to do. What am I going to do
after waking up early? So sweet. Mr. Jeetendra, congratulations. You’ve become a maternal
and paternal grandfather. I.. Let me tell you something. It’s something I have never
done in my life. – I see. I don’t remember if I have
ever been to Tushar’s parent-teacher conferences.
– I see. The same about Ekta. But whatever I am
doing now with my children.. My grandchildren, rather..
– I see. I don’t remember doing the same
things with my children. – Wow. Wow.
– I can’t.. Let me tell you that I can’t
thank God enough. I can’t thank Ekta and Tushar
enough as well. What they have given me is the joyous thing
of my life. – So sweet. – Wow. Nothing can give me more joy. All right. He is probably
the most handsome grandpa in the country! If a grandpa
is as handsome as him babies wouldn’t even
pee on him. When people like us take them,
they do. As if they didn’t want us
to take them! My biggest joy with his son.. He is a great father.
– I see. But my glorious moment is
when I ask his son ‘Who do you love more, dad
or grandpa?’ He says, ‘Grandpa!’
– Wow! I give him so much time.
Maybe he says so because he doesn’t want
to hurt the old man that I am. Tushar, you are an uncle
and a father now. Who troubles you the most?
Your son or your nephew? My nephew is young.
– I see. He is just 11 months old.
My son troubles me more. I received complaints about
him from school! – I see. There weren’t any about me
during my 12 years in school. He is only in kindergarten! What complaints? What could
a 3-year-old possibly do? I don’t know. For half
the day, he is obedient. He practices assembly, sports
and everything. – I see. For the other half of the day,
he will be outside the class. He doesn’t want to get in.
‘No’! ‘No!’
– His mood changes. Kids, these days, are clear
about what they want to do. Even a 3-year-old knows
what he wants. – ‘No.’ He is forced to learn
numerous subjects. I was forced to learn Math.
– I never understood it. Once I completed twelfth grade,
my teacher was glad I was leaving.. No, it happens. If you aren’t
interested, it doesn’t work out. We were all shy when we
were kids. – Yes. – Yes. I was very shy.
He was very shy. But my son is not shy. What do you think
is the reason, Tushar? We take them out often.
– Yes. Their social life
is really strong. They get invited to more
birthday parties than us. – Yes! Yes. – So, we never
got this exposure back then. You were born and brought up
in Mumbai. Consider my plight. It was just
‘Ganesh Chaturthi’ in our time. I see.
– We lived in a tenement. The kids of my father’s
friends lived in a tenement. I see.
– They would speak in English. We used to speak
Marathi at home. – Oh. – I see. Once they leave, my father
would scold me by saying ‘They speak English fluently.
Can’t you do it?’ ‘We will speak English at home
from now.’ – So sweet. I would be helpless
and talk to my sister like ‘Give me that book.’ So sweet. This is why we never had a relative who speaks
English well! Really. Just imagine. I speak
the best English in my family. So.. Just imagine! You have been in
the film industry for around 50 years now. You haven’t changed a bit. What do you think has changed
in the industry, Mr. Jeetendra? There weren’t air-conditioned
studios. – Yes. – Yes. Back then, people would shout
‘Fan on’ to turn the fans on. No one uses fans now. Everybody’s hair is covered. I don’t even see anyone
brushing their hair. The make-up artist
just does minor things. Yes. That’s why.. First of all,
we used to sweat badly. They used to apply
so much makeup. And the makeup never
used to last long. – I know! We used to brush our hair
time and again. Nowadays, they come to the sets
all decked up.. Mr. Jeetendra, there used to be
no gym in those days. Then how did they take care
of their fitness? You have always been fit. Look, it’s okay to be plumpy
when you’re young. Okay. – I’m not talking
about being obese. There is cuteness.
– Yes. When I was shooting for the movie ‘Caravan’..
– Okay. In that movie..
I used to be.. Let me tell you weight wise..
I was around 82 to 83. Okay.
– Later, when I was shooting for the movie ‘Parichay’..
– Okay. …someone made me realise
that I should reduce. – Okay. Then I reduced my weight a bit
and was around 74. Okay.
– But no one realised it. In those days if you go to other
actor’s room, you’d find Chutney and soda bottles. Nowadays, you’ll find dumbbells. So,
we were not health conscious. But according to me one should look healthy
and nice. – Yes, very good. To have a well-built
body, it doesn’t mean.. We’re not bodybuilders.
We are actors. – Actors. Wonderful! I often watch Kapil putting on weight
and getting back in shape.. Sir, I reduce my weight.
It so happens.. No, but whenever I.. I am an ardent fan of him.
– Thank you, sir. I love this show a lot.
– Thank you, sir. I always focus on him. And I understand
that he has realised that he has put on weight. After a couple of episodes
he becomes normal. That means,
he is very conscious. Conscious.. But today’s youngsters
are remarkable. I.. My inspiration actually.. I’ve never tried
weight exercise. I observe Tusshar, Hrithik. Lately, I observed Tiger. I can never compete against him. There’s a slogan
that says Modi makes it possible. Tiger makes it impossible. When I observe Tiger,
I feel that it’s impossible. These boys of recent generation
are so dedicated. Let me tell you honestly. I couldn’t memorise
my dialogues one day before. I used to go to the set
and ask them what to say. I used to ask them
about the dialogues. – Oh! Okay.
– I was never prepared. People say
that I used to work to showcase my talent
and fulfil my desire. I used to work
for only one thing. That is to earn money. Mr. Jeetendra, you used to stay
in Amritsar in your childhood days, right?
– Pardon! I was born in Amritsar.
– Okay. My mom had gone there
for delivery. In a couple of weeks,
I was in Mumbai. I was raised in Mumbai.
– Okay. Everyone in my family
used to talk in Marathi. Okay. – And actually speaking,
I became an actor because I didn’t have
any education or financial background. I had no options. So, I worked as junior artiste
for V. Shantaram. I got noticed because I used to speak Marathi
very well. – Okay. – Wow! I got noticed
because I was a Punjabi boy speaking Marathi fluently. Wow.. Mr. Jeetendra, there was a time
when there were movies based on exacting revenge.
– Yes. ‘Badle Ki Aag’. I will exact revenge. If someone used to cause harm
to the heroin the hero would exact revenge.. If the father gets killed his son would exact revenge..
– Yes. If the hero gets trapped,
he would exact revenge. When you used to act
in such movies were you listening
to the scripts or you just
used to ask them with whom you’re
supposed to exact revenge. At least, for ten years..
– Okay. There was a time when they used to show me
Telugu movies. – Okay. So, I knew what to do.
– Okay. They used to remake movies
from Telugu to Hindi. – Okay. I lived in Chennai.
That’s the time when they were growing up.
– Okay. – I didn’t see them. Wow!
– That’s how it was. Because I was in Chennai for nearly 25 to 26 days
a month. My dad used to tell me
that Mr. Jeetendra used to work so much
in Southern Indian movies that he used to take flights
to South India very often. And the airhostess
used to make announcement that there are only four exits
in this aeroplane. – Okay. Two of them
are for Mr. Jeetendra the rest of them
are for others. Mr. Jeetendra,
how did you manage to act in so many South Indian movies? Did you like the weather
or was the cost of living less? I mean.. Actually, it used to take
around 35 to 40 days for a movie’s shooting
to be complete. – Okay. It was fixed
as to how much shooting had to be completed
during the day time. – Okay. We used to start
the shooting in the morning and by evening most of
the work used to get over. Wow!
– I didn’t have to think much. I had to just copy
from the movie. – Okay. Tusshar, when you watched
his movies as a kid didn’t you realise
that your mom is at home and your dad was dancing
with someone else? He has acted in so many movies,
and I’ve seen so many movies that we got used to
the fact that it is his job. And that was the story. In fact, we used to get
so attached that we knew that
his regular heroin were Ms. Hema,
Ms. Rekha. – Yes. Ms. Sridevi.. – Yes.
– Ms. Jayaprada. So, we were so used to it
that.. I remember that in 1983 when suddenly I went
for a dubbing along with him. Okay.
– And I saw this new face in Himmatwala.
– Okay. I was so upset.
I was wondering as to why he was working
with her and who she was! You have the idea in mind..
– Exactly! One mother is at home,
others are the ones on TV. Exactly! Mr. Jeetendra, we’ve heard
that Mr. Rajesh Khanna and you had once locked up
Ms. Jayaprada and Ms. Sridevi in a room.
– What are you saying? Why would I lock them up? Had I locked them up,
no one would’ve come out. I used to often say
that Sridevi and Jayaprada were my bread and butter. Now, it’s left to you
to imagine who is bread and who is butter. Tushar, when we had guests my mom would ask me
to recite a poem for them. Were you asked to do the same or did your mother ask you to
dance for the guests. I was very shy when I was a kid.
– I see. I think Ekta used to imitate
Mr. Anil when he came home. She used to imitate Mr. Govinda
when he came home. – I see. Ekta loved acted in dramas. I mean, in the building..
– I see. Drama. Building play.. – When I went
to the terrace one day I saw the rehearsal
of their drama. Ekta was lying down wearing
a moustache. She was very fat. She was taking deep breaths.
She was playing Ravana. She was telling me that
she was playing Ravana. Mr. Jeetendra, who
was hard to manage? Tushar or Ekta? He was straightforward.
She was a bit stubborn. I see.
– Even from her childhood. I used to take a month off and take them somewhere. I see.
– I had to be alert to avoid kids who would come
for autographs to me. – I see. She’d have
her eyes on me and she’d ask me ‘Do you want
to give autographs..’ – I see. I see. – She was very
possessive. – Really possessive. She won’t let her dad give
autographs to anyone. We went to Zimbabwe once and a lot of girls came
to the airport. – I see. She was hitting them
with her sandals! Tushar, we have heard that
once Ekta and you were fighting and she called the police as you
punched her on her face. – Yes. We used to fight a lot.
– Okay. In contradiction
to my nature I beat Ekta a lot.
I will be very honest. I have beaten her
a lot because.. My nature is really patient.
– I see. I see. – When I lose it..
– When you lose control.. She used to annoy you.
– Yes. Is it true that Ekta
called the police? Yes, I had punched
Ekta on her nose. I think.. We were at.. I didn’t know. If I had, I would
have beat him! – Actually.. We went to Tirupati once
and we stayed at a hotel. The arguments were
for trivial matters like at what time should we
visit the temple. – I see. Should we go in
the morning or in the evening and about the songs we would
play in the car. We used to fight for trivial
matters. – Normal. I punched her hard. She called the
reception and said ‘Police, he broke my nose!’ All our friends calmed her down. But she actually called
the police and told them I broke her nose.
So.. Thankfully,
nothing happened after that. Mr. Jeetendra is in shock for he
never knew about it. I didn’t know.
But.. I always supported Ekta because
she is a girl. – Yes. As a man and as a father, I had
to support her more. – I see. You are right, Mr. Jeetendra. I have a little sister.
My father used to wake her up and he’d massage her feet
and pamper her. She was given a glass
of milk when she woke up. He used to wake me up
like this by shouting, ‘Get up.’ He would even hit me
on my face sometimes. Mr. Jeetendra, there are always
rumours about movie stars. Let me confirm them.
Sir, there is a rumour that the number of missiles launched
by ISRO is less than the number of South Indian actresses
you have launched in Bollywood! No.. I haven’t launched them. I will tell you what it is.
– Okay. Rekha was teasing me one day.
– I see. She calls me, my name, Ravi.
– I see. She was watching Sridevi’s
Telugu movie. – I see. She was asking me
to work with her. – Okay. I don’t know why but when
Raghavendra Rao mentioned her.. Her first film with
Amol Palekar wasn’t successful. People would be reluctant
to work with a heroine whose film wasn’t successful.
– Right. ‘Himmatwala’ was a remake
of a Telugu movie and Jaya Prada
was the lead actress. – Okay. So, it was dangerous
in both ways. – Oh. Rekha was forcing me so much
that I told Raghavendra that we will work
with Sridevi. – Okay. That’s how Sridevi came
into ‘Himmatwala’. Wow. – Wow.
– I didn’t launch her career. It’s rumoured that
after watching ‘Dharam Veer’ Tushar was adamant he wanted
to ride a horse as you did and you had to pretend
to be a horse to pacify him. This.. You might not remember it.
But was he adamant? I have watched ‘Dharam Veer’
a lot of times but I don’t remember
this incident. – Okay. But after watching movies,
we wished for things to be that way in real life.
After seeing helicopters we would wish for one!
– I see. – Okay. Kids do that. It could be true
but I don’t remember it. I-I wanted to be a bandit
when I was a kid. That was.. I thought it was a profession!
– Actually.. I thought one could apply
for it. I used to win prizes by dressing
up as Mangal Singh, a bandit. I will tell you the truth about bandits and horses. None of the bandits
in Chambal rode horses.
– Yes! – True! They used to run.
– Yes. – On foot. By dressing up
as policemen. This is about one
of your movies. You were dancing somewhere
outdoor. And I was twisting a wire wondering if the dance would
stop if I twist the wire. We used to twist things.
Such things.. Tushar, there is a rumour about
you that in childhood your stomach would be
upset very often hence you would sip drinks
every time. And hence the family kept
your name ‘Tushki’. Is it true?
– This you have made up surely. Mr. Jeetu, there is a rumour
that wherever you go you take your weighing
scale with you. Weight.. You keep..
– Weighing scale. This.. I had become obsessed. Since I have become weight
conscious.. – Okay. After eating food.
After getting up in the morning. After going to the loo.
Before loo.. What is my weight.. I have become very conscious. It’s a good thing.
– One thing is there a person is seen maximum
in light clothes. – Yes. When you wear white or
cream colour clothes a person looks bigger. – Okay. So people wear black
or dark clothes. – Yes. True. So that they look slim. So I made it a point to wear
white shoes, pant and shirt. That’s how it started.
– Oh! So that’s how the famous
Jeetu look started.. Tushar, there is a rumour that
Ekta would scare you with a lizard and make you
do her homework. Lizard? I am still scared of
lizards. You are still scared? – Yes,
I get disgusted. Whatever. But.. She would get her homework
done? Not at all. She would not do her homework. Whether I do it
or she does her own she would never do it. I was the late-comers
prefect in school. Meaning the late-comers monitor. Means the kids who come late
for assembly.. – Okay I had to make them
stand outside. But I was late everyday
because of her. Because of her.. Ekta had three mantras
in her life. Eating.. Eating.. And eating.
– Eating. She will kill us. How could you say that
about me on the show? Mr. Jeetu, there is a rumour
that during your struggling days you had done the role of
a body double of a heroine once. Yes! – What was that incident? You think.. I am the junior
artist in the movie ‘Sehra’. And I have to entice
Mr. Shantaram. I am ready to do anything.
– Okay. We couldn’t find a duplicate
in Bikaner. Can you believe, I did
the duplicate of Ms. Sandhya. And that full dress..
In those times, they would.. And Mr. Shantaram would do
authentic films. So everything was very
authentic. Tushar, there is a rumour that
in childhood you would drink from your
dad’s bottle secretly. – What? Not secretly, I would ask him
and drink. And when you were caught
you would say you thought it was
‘Kala Khatta’. Is this true? When he would drink,
I would take a sip. Maybe that’s why
I hate whiskey now. Because I found it very bitter.
– Okay. But no, I never stole and drank. Kapu! Your aunt is here. Hello, ma’am. How are you all?
Kapu, I am here. Come, my dear, hug me. My dear child! Mr. Jeetu! You have come. How are you? I.. You should have told me
Mr. Jeetu is going to come. I would have worn a
better nightie and come. Please sit. Tushu!
Come.. Come and touch my feet.
My dear child! Please sit. He has grown so big. Eku has not come?
Where is she? Ekta is busy, she
is not like you wearing a nightie
and sitting idle. You come whenever you feel like. I see! – She’s busy. I know, she must be making
preparations for GK. Why will she prepare for GK? She has a production house.
She must be making films. I am not talking about
the GK exam. She must be making
‘Household Fights’. ‘Household Fights’! She must be planning how to make
mother-in-law and daughter-in-law fight. How to make
sisters-in-law fight? I also take ideas from her of how to beat your uncle. What say, Tushu?
Aren’t I smart? What is the meaning of ‘Tushu’? His name is Tushar Kapoor. He must be Tushar for you.
For me he is Tushu, my child. I still remember, he would
be so small and Ms. Shobha would leave
him in my lap. He would kick me in my
stomach like this. Archana, it was his habit.. He would never pee
without hearing a whistle. I am telling the truth. Once I.. Don’t whistle, I told you he
won’t pee without whistle sound. Archana, once I had kept
the cooker on the gas. The number of times
the cooker whistled that many times he peed. Aunt, what are you saying,
Mr. Jeetu is sitting right here. At that time also Mr. Jeetu
would be sitting right there. I would whistle for him
and he would whistle for me. I am telling the truth,
Mr. Jeetu was also very smart. Instead of his baby, he would
call me baby and darling. Oh! What did I just say?
If Ekta hears this she’ll make a serial on this.
Challenges of excretion. Aunt you’re blabbering since long.
Mr. Jitu is not even looking at you.
– What’s the big deal? He has stared me enough
during his youth. That’s why,
he’s not looking, now. I’m serious, dear.
He was such a big flirt. That park in Delhi’s Karol Bagh,
where you’d go every evening. Oh! He would go with a knife.
– Why? He scratched the tree
and made a heart. And a small arrow across it.
Mr. Jitu that arrow hasn’t remained
an arrow. It has become a spear.
A spear! Aunt, that’s too much, now. It was too much the other day. It was so much fun. Tushu, it was raining
the other day. The two of us
were under one umbrella. Then?
– What else? He’s so good that he gave me
his umbrella and was completely drenched.
– Oh! – Oh! I saw drenched Jeetu
for the first time in life. It was so much fun. Honestly speaking,
put two Hollywood actors and three Bollywood actors
together they still can’t match
the drenched Jeetu. Aunt, control yourself. It’s Mr. Jitu who controlled
himself the other day. Oh my.. It was his wedding day.
He was ready, dressed up at his wedding venue
and he was waiting for me to come and get his wedding
called off. – Oh, God! Even I reached there
with the backless necklace. Backless necklace?
– Oh.. The moment I reached there,
the chaat vendor opened his chaat stall. It was such a delicious chaat.
I started eating the chaat and that’s it, Tushu. – Then?
– I was busy eating and Jitu became Shobha’s. The chaat vendor
became your uncle. The chaat messed up everything. Aunt, tell me something.
How do you dare to lie to this extent?
– From the daring one. I just told you
about that incident, right? Two of us under one umbrella
in the rains. – Oh! Mr. Jitu, do you remember?
I was drenched, starving and shivering.
He took the eggplant, cut it and started frying it
in the fire. Oh, Ms. Archana! When he was frying the eggplant
in the fire the noise it made.. Oh! Dear Tushu, that noise echoes
in my ears. Tad..
– Oh, God! Tad..
– Mr. Jitu please don’t mind.
My aunt is such a liar. I hold a record.
You can ask anyone in Delhi. I don’t lie. – Right.
– If you don’t believe me dear Tushu, Jitu, let’s have
a flashback. I’ll take you to the flashback.
Hold on. Here you go. Be careful.
Flashback. Flashback. Archana.
– Yes? You must spend well. It has been 70 episodes
and Mr. Sidhu can come back. Wow! What do you think? Amazing!
I loved this. Let me bless everyone! Ms. Archana.
– Yes? – Live long! Kapil.
Live long. What must I say to him? Mr. Jitendra. Blessings
from the fake one. And Tushar. You may ask Rohit Shetty
what it means. May I come in? If you do not mind. Aunt.
– Yes? We have got
a fake one here. Males have two forms. One as a bachelor
and one as a married man. Am I right? What a waste! I need a sum
of Rs. 150. Why?
– For what? For the gift
that I bought. You are speaking of money? Come, give me a hug. Who is this fatso? Come on. Do you see how much
he loves to joke around? Tushar dear, see how well
we look together. You are huge!
Gigantic! God bless you. What happened to you? There was a time when you
used to feed me. I remember it well. Ekta had told me to feed
ten homeless guys. So I could not go on
looking for ten people. So I fed all the food to her. Amounts to ten. Hold on.
It’s my phone. Hello.
Yes, Ekta. The cheque bounced. I told you not to put it
on the soft couch. It will bounce. Not an issue. We do see a rise
in our money. I am very happy. Sure, dear.
God bless you. Is it is our Ekta? What do you mean by that? Stay in line! What are you saying? You used to have
a lot of fun. Remember when you had
referred me instead of Reena Roy
in movie ‘Nagin’? I did. Reena Roy was not acting well
as a serpent and I was like.. I was selected. She seemed like a buffalo. She said you used
to whistle for her. She said it?
– Yes. Do you think that is
even possible? Nonsense.
My son Tushar is here, You did a movie
about a shootout. When shoot her now. Yes, Ekta.
God bless you. You are at the office
looking for ideas? For a new show? I have a character in mind. Me?
– An ugly woman. God bless you. You have forgotten
all that we did. I loved you so much. He once asked me
to get a lotus flower. And I ran in a swamp
to get a lotus for him. And People mistook me
for a buffalo. I was remembering something
but then I lost it. Stop it now.
I am angry. God bless you, Ekta. I am angry. Ekta, vent your rage
on the channel. I will go and thrash
the channel folk. I am burning in rage.
Get lost. Listen to me.
– Just get lost. I am going! Listen to me!
I will remind you. Hold on!
Sir, I am leaving. And let me tell you
before I leave. There is a Sapna parlour
over here. You know of it. Sapna comes here
with a massage. I have one for you. It is a brave massage. Elaborate. We use scalding hot oil. Only the brave get
the massage done. It seems you remember now. Sir, what do you think
seeing an old version of you? I’ll tell you that
you are remarkable. Really, both of you.
– Thank you, sir. Sir, what do you think of me?
A femme fatale! You are the hottest! He is saying it
out in the open. Time for a hug. Still the same feeling. My boy. Come, let me remind you. Come now!
– Let’s go. Ms. Archana, there’s a story
about Mr. Prem Chopra. Mr. Jeetendra, you had
narrated it to us that Mr. Prem Chopra
was scared of snakes. Well, Prem Chopra
did not have work. – Okay. He wanted a movie.
– Okay. A Punjabi producer
went to meet him. – Okay. The name of the movie
was ‘Sapni’ where he has to come
as a snake and play with the snake.
– Okay. And if you talk to him
about him snakes in Goregaon you will find him in Bandra. That scared he was. Okay.
– Then? He said that he will shoot
the snake scenes later and he will shoot
the other scenes first. He shot for 10 to 12 days. Then the producer came
and told him that he has to shoot
with the snake. He backed out. He refused to work
with the snake. – Really? The producer was
in a dilemma. – Then? They had to work
with his duplicate. How cute.
So scared. There was one more story
which you had told me where Mr. Prem Chopra
and you had no work and you would leave
from home quickly. No, the story is there’s a building
called Usha Sadan which has three wings.
A, B and C. I lived in C wing.
Prem Chopra lived in A wing. And both of us
had a car. We had purchased it in
installment during those days. In installment. And both of us had no work
32 days a month. 32 days! And the situation was the moment we saw
each other in the building we sat in our cars as though
we have to go quickly. We are going for work. Cut to Famous Studio where the office of
the producers are located. We were roaming
around there. Then he told me that both of us are struggling. Both of us are wasting
the petrol. Struggle..
– So, let’s struggle together. That’s how
we started together. Mr. Jeetendra, you have worked
with almost all the actors in the industry. Many of viewers
have some questions. They have asked me
to ask you. ‘When you acted in movies’ ‘who was the heroine
for whom the heroes’ ‘were ready to adjust
their dates’ ‘despite their busy schedules?’ No, this is not
the right question. If I take the name
of one heroine the others will question me
when I meet them. It’s a fact
that Mr. Jeetendra is punctual. He always reaches on time. ‘When you would reach
the sets’ ‘which co-actor would give
the most excuses’ ‘for being late?’ Which actor or actress was it? I have shot for most
of my movies in Madras. – Okay. The two superstars there Nageswara Rao
and N. T. Rama Rao. Yes. They were the cult icons till the end. They would dance
even at the age of 65. People used to accept it. But there was one
special quality about them. They were very punctual. If N. T. Rama Rao
was playing the role of Lord Krishna you have to get yourself
coloured in blue. So, he used to get up
in the morning at three. He would wake up
at 3 a.m and do his yoga and have breakfast and he would reach
the set at 5 a.m. He would require
two hours for makeup. He would reach the set
at sharp 7 a.m with makeup. You tell me now. Why would anybody else
reach late when a superstar like him
comes on time? Well said. – Everyone
would be there on time. ‘Mr. Jeetendra, an actor
who preferred to be’ ‘more with the female co-star
than the male co-stars?’ Was this before marriage? Naturally!
I have to say this now. ‘Mr. Jeetendra, which actress
would always come on set’ ‘with her mom’ ‘and cause problems
for the hero?’ Everyone would come
with their moms. – Many of them. Would everyone come
with their moms? – Yes. Wouldn’t the male actors
come with their dads? No, the managers
of the male actors would take care
of the actors’ mothers. Mr. Jeetu, who was the actor
who is so funny in real life that it was difficult
to work with him? Based on my experience, Mr. Mehmood. – Mr. Mehmood.. He was a comedian for sure,
but he was a genius. He was tremendous. I and Aruna Irani was standing
during a shoot and there was a door
behind her. I was supposed to look there
and laugh, but I was unable. I was trying a lot to laugh
while delivering the dialogue but I wasn’t able to laugh. I was thinking as to what
to do, then Mr. Mehmood came and asked me look there
at him towards the door when I am supposed to laugh
while delivering the dialogue. Okay.
– I said, okay. Then while delivering
the dialogue, I looked there and Mr. Mehmood took off
his pant. Was it done in a single take?
– Yes.. I laughed a lot.. I couldn’t stop laughing. How nice. Who was the actor or actress
who was fond of doing parties? Everyone in our group
was fond of it. – Okay. There were many such people..
I don’t want to tell the names. They used to drink,
and then used to have food. They used to drink again,
used feel hungry again and then used to eat again. Mr. Jeetu..
– There.. But it was fun.,
Something like jealousy was very rare. Love and affection
for each other was like anything. I mean, meeting each other,
sitting together and all.. We were like a family. Mr. Jeetu, we have some pictures
that we want to show you. We want to know the places,
occasions or functions. Can we see them, please? Mr. Jeetu, in this picture,
you’re being crowned.. Shabana. – …by Ms. Rekha..
– And Shabana. – …Ms. Shabana. Where was this taken, Mr. Jeetu?
– ‘Ek Hi Rasta’, I think.. Not ‘Ek Hi Rasta’..
– ‘Raste Pyaar Ke.’ – Yes. ‘Raste Pyaar Ke.’
– Okay. Why are they giving you a crown?
– I don’t remember. It’s a song’s scene.
– Oh.. – ‘Gokul Ki Galiyon’.. That song, right? Okay, next.
– Yes. Sir, there are so many children.
Ms. Reena is there. Even Hrithik is there.
– Look at Hrithik Roshan, first. That’s Hrithik. Actually, what used to happen
in my house was.. Ekta also was a very
good dancer. Though, she was very fat,
but a very good dancer. So, there used to be a dance
competition in my house. – Oh. And even Hrithik has been
a wonderful dancer since childhood. I had to give him prizes
and if I do that then she.. – Angry..
– I am her father it’s her house
and it’s her birthday but he’s winning the prize.. Next. Who is he? – This is
Mr. Jeetu’s childhood photo. Really?
– He’s Laksshya. My son’s childhood photo.
– One is me and one is.. Oh, my God! So identical.
– …my grandson. Oh.
– Wow! Oh, so sweet. Next. Mr. Jeetu, when was this taken? We both took it in Gulzar’s
and Rakhee’s wedding. Oh, in Mr. Gulzar’s wedding.
Wow! Next. This is my family.
– The children have grown up. This was a shoot for a magazine
called ‘G’. There was a magazine
named ‘G’ magazine. – Okay. There was a feature.
And shoot was for that. Great pictures.
Next. This is our group
on new year’s eve. Wow! It’s you, Mr. Roshan, Mr. Rishi,
Ms. Neetu and who is in the last? It’s Shoojit and Prem Chopra
in the back. It says ‘rest easy’ up there
and everyone is enjoying. Next. It is.. Core group. Your birthday. My 75th birthday. Amazing! Sir, this is a party.
– This.. People are occupied. Look at that concentration. You have many fans here. They think that they can
do your steps on new songs. May I call them up here?
– Yes. Sure. Come now.
Who wants to come here? Four of them.
Five, I see. Please come to the stage. Hello, ma’am.
How are you? Please come. Please tell us your name
and where have you come from. I am Ramu. Where are you from?
– I am from Pune. From Pune? I am a great fan. Whenever I get angry,
I watch your show and laugh. Thank you.
Are you married? Yes, I am. No point in getting angry now. Why such rage? Thank you for coming
to our show. And the lady here.. My name is Kreena. Pardon?
– Kreena Reena?
– It is Kreena. Kreena.
– Kreena. Kreena.
No ‘A’ after ‘K’ Kreena. I am.. Where are you from? I am from Kandivli.
– Kandivli. What is this on your hand? My husband’s name. Husband’s name?
Is he here? He is here.
– Where is he? Amazing! She has got
your name tattooed. Wow! Are you happy? Seeing that you have got
your name up there. What is your name? I am Sikandar. I see.
– I am from Thane. Will you go back? Yes. Go on. I am a great fan
of Mr. Jeetendra. He is like
a teacher for me. Sir, you are here
empty handed? Why?
– What did you want me to get? Even the great Alexander
left empty handed. What about you there? I am Kunal Dhanure. Where are you from? I am from Nagpur. Nagpur. We welcome you. Ma’am? I am Komal Pawar. I am from Pune. So Mr. Pawar is back
from Pune. Good one. Welcome, Komal. Sir? I am Amit Jain. I am from Pune. You are from Pune?
You are together? No. – You could have shared
a taxi. On our way back, maybe. Confident guy. Komal, be careful. I am here
with my husband. He is your husband? Well, go stand with him! Mr. Jitu. Who among.. – It’s amazing.. Really. See, to dance doesn’t mean giving a particular
professional performance. You just have to enjoy,
which all of you did. You have enjoyed every moment. Thank you so much, guys.
Thank you.. Oh! Ms. Archana.. – Yes! I have so much of attraction
that my heart has said that even the biggest stars
come to meet me. – Oh! Mr. Jitu, greetings! How are you? – Wow! Hello, sir! How are you? What line did you just say?
Do you have attraction? Who do you think you are? I have asked you so many times
not to use such words. You better talk about diseases.
They suit you. Do you run a comedy show
or a medical centre? You have so much of knowledge
about diseases. You better open
a medical centre. Mr. Jitu, he will trouble you. Come, let’s sit in my ‘launch’.
– What did you say? I invited them to my ‘launch’. And what’s that? It’s a place where
we have lunch. Lounge. Firstly, it’s ‘lounge’. – Yes.
– Okay? – Okay. And you think where we do
lunch is called ‘launch’. Then what’s the place where we
do breakfast? Is it ‘bounge’? Nonsense! And the place where we have
dinner is ‘dounge’? Tushar, Rohit Shetty is a good
friend of yours. He uses so many cars
for stunts in his movies. Ask him to run over one
of them on him. How can he do that? Mr. Jitu, even I have come
to Mumbai from Amritsar by following my passion. Sir, your passion
brought you here. But he didn’t have warm clothes
in the cold of Amritsar. And then.. So his relatives in Ludhiana
were senior beggars. They were coming to Mumbai. He hid in their blanket
and came here. He doesn’t follow his passion.
Liar.. – Enough, Kapil Sharma! You have crossed your limits. And where you cross your limits,
the fragile threads break. And when threads break you can’t waive a sweeter
out of them. Mr. Jitu, please recommend
my name to Ms. Ekta and get my serial launched. I can even adjust
with the lead role. I have no problem. – I see.
He needs the lead role. She has made a serial
on the shape-shifting serpents. But I don’t think she will make
a serial on mongoose. What an idea, Kappu Sharma! It will be great if we make
a serial on mongoose. And its titles will be amazing. ‘Mongoose in every house..’ Right? Look at him and his choices,
sir. He played the role of cat
in our college play and he got scared of a rat. Kappu Sharma, the history
has it.. – Yes. Stones are hurled
only on those trees whose fruits are ripened. Wow! So, stones are hurled.. Whose fruits are ripened. And when we meet mad people.. They are the ones who
get beaten up the most. Now get lost! Enough is enough! How can I go? Mr. Tushar,
I think you know this. Dogs have done a good job
in movies like ‘Teri Meherbaniya
and ‘Hum Aapke Hai Kaun’. So what? So I want you to make
serials on dogs too. I have even
thought of amazing titles. For example, ‘The Dog Stories’. ‘The Dog will take away
the female dog.’ The story, screenplay,
and the script are ready. The story begins with.. A dog named Sheru.
He is lying on the footpath. He is very alone in his life. He is so alone in his life that he doesn’t even have
anything to play with. He had nowhere to go? Hey, that’s you story. Are you telling your own story? Kappu Sharma, don’t interrupt
while I am narrating my story. Great. Otherwise,
my dog might bite you. So, it was
the month of December. It was very cold. But Sheru wasn’t feeling cold.
– Okay. Because, Ms. Archana, humans
are more sensitive to cold. The dogs don’t
feel the cold much. For example, when the humans
sneeze during winter they are unconscious
for a while. We can shoot
a little later. Let’s take rest
for half an hour. But the dogs don’t feel it.
They just sneeze so casually. Let’s get back to the story now. The dog is
sitting down like this. Infront of Mr. Bajaj’s bungalow.
– Mr. Bajaj. It’s sitting there like this. Suddenly the gate opens. Champa comes out through
the gate. Who is Champa?
– Champa? Sheru’s crush. Sheru’s crush!
– All right. When Sheru sees Champa..
– And then? Champa gazes into Sheru’s eyes. Is that how she gazed? Sheru gazed into Champa’s eyes. Then Sheru proposes to Champa
in Shahrukh Khan’s style. Champa is standing
in front of him with an innocent face. And meanwhile, Mr. Bajaj
comes from behind and hits Sheru very hard
with a stick. And when Sheru turns
back and looks at Mr. Bajaj.. He goes to Mr. Bajaj like this. Mr. Bajaj wonders why he is
loving him even when he hit him. And suddenly while thinking,
he gets distracted by something under Sheru’s ear.
He says that this mole.. This mole was under the ear
of his dog Rocky. And then he remembers that
his dog Rocky hadn’t died. He had met with an accident
but he was saved. People had him undergo
a plastic surgery. Oh, God! And that Sheru is Rocky. And then he takes
them to his house. And all four of them
live happily together. Sir, how do you like my story?
– Great.. You didn’t tell
what happened to Champa. She is with him. They will do
whatever they want to at home. Guessing from how long
you have been talking about dogs you will also walk home
like a dog today. Let me tell you, Kappu Sharma.
– Yes. Every dog has a day. And just watch. There will be
a TV series on dog. So, we will meet
on the hundredth episode. Sir, please, tell Ms. Ekta
that I have a request. Please consider my TV serial. Thank you, sir. Chandu is leaving and let’s meet
on the hundredth episode. Once again,
a loud round of applause for Mr. Jeetendra
and Mr. Tushar. Please come, Mr. Jeetendra. Mr. Jeetendra, thank you so much
for coming to our show. It was a pleasure
meeting you. Love you, sir. Love you, sir.. Thank you, Mr. Tushar.
– Thank you for having us. Thank you..
– Thank you.. It’s time to take a beautiful
selfie with everyone. Please come, Ms. Archana. Mr. Tushar, you do it.
You take good selfies. Thank you, Tushar. Thank you once again,
Mr. Jeetendra. Thank you, Mr. Tushar.
– Thank you, Ms. Archana. And you all, please keep
laughing and smiling. Keep everything
clean around you. And keep watching
‘The Kapil Sharma Show’. Goodnight.
Take care. Thank you..


30 Responses

  1. Dong Yu

    December 3, 2019 1:06 pm

    πŸ˜πŸ˜ΰ¦¬ΰ¦Ύΰ¦‚ΰ¦²ΰ¦Ύΰ¦¦ΰ§‡ΰ¦Ά ΰ¦₯েকে কে কে


    December 3, 2019 6:22 pm

    কে কে বাংলাদেঢ ΰ¦₯েকে দেখছ?
    ΰ¦¨ΰ¦Ώΰ¦šΰ§‡ লাইক ΰ¦¦ΰ¦Ώΰ§Ÿΰ§‡ ΰ¦œΰ¦Ύΰ¦¨ΰ¦Ώΰ§Ÿΰ§‡ দাও

  3. Dipto Dhar

    December 3, 2019 6:55 pm



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